It's too late

It's too late, or at least that's the general feeling I'm getting about our culture's impact on planet Earth.

And it probably is. It's too late to bring back all the ecosystems we stole from all the species that once shared our world. It's too late to bring back from the dead all the indigenous cultures we annihilated for the sake of progress and expansion. It's too late to go back 10,000 years to find out exactly what the hell happened that would drive us to think the world was made for whatever humans wanted to do with it.

And it may as well be our course to plow this train full speed into global collapse. Our imaginations explore this through story-telling. Many of us want to take a glimpse into that future. What will it be like to live in total collapse? And then: what would cause it? What would be the first domino falling over in this catastrophic effect? And maybe, is there a way to foresee this? To prevent?

It's fascinating.

I agree whole-heartily that it's too late. I don't know what drives the general consensus to maintain the status quo, but from my vantage point I don't see enough change of mind. It's cute and admirable if a lot of people are doing their little share to - say - recycle, compost, drive less, or spend more time with family and community than with television, but this is not enough. Our way of life is deeply rooted against natural laws. Shit, even "Green" is a brand. As long as you're okay with filling your void with products and categorizing your memories with what name of brand you associate, it will entirely depend on our global collapse to see the kind of changes each of us dreams of. Hence the adage: "it has to get worse before it gets better."

But please don't misread me here. I am not fully engaged with fatalism. I don't read on every item that talks about how things will eventually be, simply because this one single moment we are always in has yet to reflect the visions our cultural seers are forecasting.

I don't think it's healthy to think about global collapse every day. At the same time, I don't think it's healthy to fully trust in the global system. I don't like buying food shipped in from hundreds and even thousands of miles away, so that's why I grow my own food or join a Community Supported Agriculture with a local organic farm. I don't like buying products that eventually have to be stuffed into a landfill, so I go towards recyclable and compostable or nothing at all.

I think within the conscious there has to be a state of balance, just like the two hemispheres that form our brain. You have to think of the inverse and the converse at all times, the "what if..." and the "what if not...".

I may be reading about our coming global collapse, but in no way does this impede my pursuit of self-sufficiency, mostly because I think "why not?" I'm sticking to my gardening plans for many reasons, one being that I enjoy learning about this kind of thing. Tomorrow morning I expect five different herbs to show their little seedling heads to me. This is my joy. Less than 10 weeks from now and I expect my body to reside in an intentional community known as Dancing Rabbit, a place where the residents live closely to a neo-tribal state.

Right now, I'm living with my family whose mainstay depends on the status quo. They frequently buy food shipped in from thousands of miles away, typically forget to recycle, lesser so to save compostable scrap, and generally abide by what the global culture has to offer. It's challenging for me because I feel it so necessary for me to question these things, and to live amongst people who don't frustrates me to no end. In fact, we live in mostly separate metaphysical camps. We probably regard each other equally with "why can't you just do this!" But we still do what we do. What can we do to improve our social body? I don't know how to convince people they'd be better without television. We know that we love each other, but perhaps each of us shares a kind of yearning for closeness that we blanket with distractions. We're all afraid to make the first move and even then, what would one of us say?

I think we need more boredom. Daniel Quinn says humans need more of what humans need, and this has to do with what makes life honestly worth living.

I think a global collapse would be interesting to see. I wonder what would people think to do when they won't be able to use the television or the internet or "things" to occupy their time. Cormac McCarthy certainly gave us a desperate and moody depiction with cannibalism and nomadicism and grayness.

But until that time, I'm learning. Part of me wants to stand on a soap box with a megaphone and appeal to everyone in earshot how we need to take matters into our own hands. Let's band together, here and now. Form one of many thousands of tribes to support each other indefinitely in the name of a better human life. And why not for your kids? Why not in general? We can't be babied like this forever.

Ah, idealism, but then it surely is entirely possible. I could get laughed at or arrested, but who cares? It'd be worth a try.

Next week I want to build a compost bin for my family. I'm taking pictures of jewelry to sell on ebay. I'm reading a lot of books. I miss hanging out with friends and having long conversations with many tangents that leave me with a refreshed state of mind.

What keeps me going is that I generally believe I'm following my own unique path. It's true that we think we have time and that it's this illusion that has afforded us a state of life dependent on finite resources, but damn, I don't think I can just stop doing what I'm doing because it's all too late. I'm still apprehensive about car culture, but still, somewhere deep within the timeless essence of soul I feel it can never be too late. All this human drama is just a silly drama, and it's very well a nightmare, but you're only part of it so long as you're in that human vessel of yours.

So, I suppose what keeps me going is the belief that whatever my soul is, it's not distinctly human. I probably won't be remembered, and judgment may be nothing more than a human mythology, but I believe it's important to do what you feel is right. The idea of always being Aaron Jay Schmidt is a little maddening.